grabe may agiw na tong blog ko.. countdown na.. less than 8 hrs to go til im 24.. URRKYY!! tanda.. bleh.. time to wait for the presents to start pouring in. yah right.. the higher your number goes the less gifts you get.. donations are welcome especially if they come from this list: cold play cd postal service cd goose down feather filled pillow wallet.. even if there's no cash inside i'll take it.. ok later bitches..

pero wala naman akong allergy so ayos lang
im at work and im bored

i hate monotony..
that's why i am not successful at keeping jobs
plus my boss is a grade A asshole
i miss the beach!
i need some sunshine..
kailangan ko mag pa-tan hahahaha

march na..
nagbday na si lesley(HAPPY BDAY!)
tapos april na
uuwi ako
pero saglit lang siguro

my life is practically on the internet
all my details
my finances
my mail
my friends
my daily blehs that i should be talking over a frap at starbucks or a cig at agno

everything became virtual without me noticing it
i would die without the internet
or should i say..
i dont have a life without the internet

i miss people
i miss conversations
i miss fights
i miss traffic
i miss my car

cellphone+internet+paycheck= essentials i tell you..

but before self absorbed ranting..

happy 29th bday to my most recent addiction BRANDON BOYD.. so if in some twisted world you read this.. post a comment on how I can give you your gift and you can treat to me to brunch..

i want to cut class and goof off like i did some years ago

i want to not care and puff a cigarette or two and ravage my throat with 100 peso frappucinos

i want to say hi to some friends at a bench and random faces along the way

i want to drive around and dehydrate my gas tank and end up at the other side of the city where traffic is terrible

i want cold beer with greasy beernuts scored free from the gay owner of some bar

i haven't graduated yet it seems or maybe im looking for unquestioning unconditional support right now

i might quit work.

others may say im a quitter.. negative nyo! haha.. i say i just like to explore different companies

looking for a job, a non stressful kind of job

but no standing up for 8 hours.. ill get varicose

i might just do part time..

i dunno.. the workplace hates me.. sinusuka ako ng industriya..

this package is not made for labor..

i have a lot of debt.. which i should pay off soon..

i have money issues now in my head..

my boss is a fucker.. i cant stand her.. she haunts me at night

i have so much unnecessary stress(people) around me.. and most of them are ugly..

lahat ba talaga ng tao may calling?? kayo anong calling nyo?? alam niyo ba??

i photocopied a WHOLE book by myself courtesy of company resources and the book i bought and will return to the bookstore today.. yes im cheap-o like that peo naman no 100 dollars for a used book na walang katuturan.. ano ko tanga.. si ano lang yung tanga noh panget na tanga pa ahhahahahaha

i wen to the gym finally =) treadmill for 15 minutes skywalker thingie for another 5 100 situps that hurt like hell

so the day went by real fast i hope today does to..

things to do:

-reformat the computer at home.. install windows XP ( oo naka ME pa kami oo jologs pero gumagana pa noon eh )

-install or at least try to make the psc work. lexmark eh ang baduy

-return the books to mission college, go to the financial aid office, go to the cashier or accounting ask for my registration cause they have not mailed me anything

-BE HEALTHY kunwari hehe.. no pigging out  dahil malala na an sitwayson

madaming oras sa buhay ko di ko alam ang ginagawa ko lagi ko lang sinusunod kung ano yun sabi nila na maganda, responsable blah blah blah..

ngayon i finally figured out what i want.. god did not create moi to be an employee behind a desk.

i really feel it in my bones.. i will do something bigger more significant.. yun naman ang gusto ko eh.. i dont dream of extremely lavish things.. i just want a lifestyle.. ayoko ng controlado ng fiscal calendar ng kumpanya ang buhay ko. i want o be able to go on vacation when i want to, not when the company shuts down or when i have enough vacation time left..

i admit i am not the most independent person ever.. pero financially i can be independent.. ako ang gagawa ng paraan ko..

pero andaming kontra nakakainit ng ulo.. minsan i know we're entitled to out own opinion pero kung di naman makakatulong ang sasabihin mo lalo na pag hindi hinihingi ang opinyon eh isara nal ang ang bibig di ba?

at isa pa.. ang katawan ko eh medyo palyado maraming sakit laging asa doktor.. kung magiging realistic ako eh i might not reach old age, so i can't be like most people na saving up for old age.. dahil malamang sa malamang eh wala na ako dito nun..

i want MY life, live the way I WANT to live, at kung kaya ko naman eh bakit pa kokontra di ba?

2 tao lang ang naniniwala na kaya ko as in kahit anong gawin ko susuporta pa rin.. buti nga may dalawa pa eh

so in a few weeks i will seriously think of quittin my job and making my life happen..

kasi isipin nyo.. 8 hrs a day na nga tayong tulog eh.. 9 hours pa sa work.. 1 - 2oras sa commute.. so ano yun 6 hrs lang tayo pwede gumawa ng gusto natin talagang gawin?  ah basta makikita nila..

pretty soon i will call the shots..

do you ever get the feeling that the clock is taunting you..
sinasadyang bagalan kasi alam na inaantay mo sya
i have this weird feeling right now..
parang, something bad is gonna happen or may nakakabadtrip na balita akong maririnig anytime soon
ewan basta badvibes..

i just dont know what i want sometimes..
napaka-meaningless minsan ng araw araw na buhay dito sa amerika eh
i know never ending bitching about the states..
i like it in a way pero parang i like it for the superficial reasons
i've never felt na i belong here..

madrama pakinggan i know. .
pero tangina im just fucking irritated at the way im living my life right now..
sobrang dami kong na imagine na i'd be doing..
lots of significant things..
im just scared im gonna get sucked into this zombie lifestyle..
that's why everyday i need to remind myself to not give in..